A small herd of approximately a dozen cows (they were difficult to cownt as they kept mooving) suddenly appeared on our front pitch earlier this evening. It certainly raised the moo-d in the clubhouse and caused some disbelief amongst members, one was even accused of "spreading bull".

One source at the ground spoke to a junior hoof-ound the cows had this to say to long term member Stew;
"What a cute bunch of cows on the pitch!" he remarked.
"Not a bunch, herd", the source replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"

The cows were soon on the moove and headed towards grass a plenty on Altrincham Golf Course, away from our udder pitch.

The police have been notified in a hope to find their owner.